YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
