i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
