first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize