I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
