is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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