he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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