I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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