You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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