clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
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