So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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