Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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