its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
