so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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