Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
