My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
the raccoons are back...
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