i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
PS: I just woke up from my shower
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
