Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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