i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
