yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
