You can't motorboat a personality
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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