three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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