just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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