I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
