Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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