when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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