i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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