youre lurking in front of me
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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