You really coming over, don't trick.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
