the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
