Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Randomize
