Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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