I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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