my vag is so smooth its legendary
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
