You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
