im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
