im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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