I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Can I color on your dick again?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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