i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
