he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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