"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
