if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you guys were way drunker than both of me
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
