You're so nebulous sometimes
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
