I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
