The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
