I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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