I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You were trust falling into bushes
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
