Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
