am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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