The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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