Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
That accounts for only three of the penises
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
