Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Rumble strips road head = magical
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize