I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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