i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
