Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize