Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
