So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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