OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
