We're facebook friends in real life
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
